


is it okay if i stay? 'cause i'm dying to

by Dinosaur1212



Category: Atypical (TV 2017), Legacies (TV 2018)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Angst-fest cause Penelope and Izzie are dumb, Eventual Fluff, F/F, Hanahaki Disease, Izzie and Josie are low-key friends too, Thank you jethan gc for telling me to make it chapters, The Penelope & Izzie Friendship We Deserve, This was really supposed to be a one-shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-28
Updated: 2020-03-05
Packaged: 2021-02-25 21:40:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 20,454
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21592420
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dinosaur1212/pseuds/Dinosaur1212
Summary: “How did yo- I mean how could you have possibly figured it out?” Penelope managed to stammer out as she sat down in a chair.“An off-hand comment by someone and then just some good guessing skills,” Izzie admitted before going on to ask, “Why didn’t you tell me last week about the petals?”ORThe one where Penelope and Izzie are best friends and just so happen to be in love with different people and their feelings aren't returned
Relationships: Casey Gardner & Izzie, Casey Gardner/Izzie, Hope Mikaelson & Lizzie Saltzman, Penelope Park & Josie Saltzman, Penelope Park/Josie Saltzman
Comments: 25
Kudos: 310
Collections: Finishedstoriesmine





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I swear, this was only supposed to be a one-shot. That was all. Now it's becoming its own story, but that's chill. I promise I'll update my other fics, I just thought I would do a one-shot before I did so, but things don't always work out as planned.

Being irrevocably in love with someone shouldn’t hurt because love is always depicted as something wonderful. Something that most people want to experience one day. And sometimes being so in love with someone is as wonderful as people make it out to be, but there are instances where it isn’t. Where you can be so in love with someone, but they don’t feel the same as you. Where you can be so in love with someone that it is physically killing you because they don’t feel the same way. It just so happened that two students at Clayton Prep were dying from their unrequited feelings, and they just so happened to be best friends.

\--------------------------

It came on a Tuesday towards the end of October when Penelope burst out into a fit of coughing in the middle of her chemistry class. The burning in the back of her throat was horrendous and she just thought it was the beginning of a cold, that is until she coughed up a single flower petal. She instantly placed it as Josie’s favorite flower, the daisy Managing to quickly excuse herself from class, Penelope went to the bathroom where she finally managed to quit coughing, but not before she coughed up more petals. Out of all the things that could happen, Penelope never thought that her feelings for Josie would lead to this. Sure, she had broken up with Josie, but that didn’t mean she had wanted to. She just wanted Josie to become her own person and have time for herself, instead of always spreading herself too thin for Lizzie. Sliding down against the bathroom wall until she was sitting, Penelope was left with her thoughts about Josie, and how it appeared the girl no longer had feelings for her.

She had no idea how long she was sitting there until a familiar voice called out to her as the owner of the voice entered the bathroom, “Penelope? Are you okay? Mrs Hayes sent me to check up on you since you practically coughed up a lung in class.”

“I’m fine Izzie. It’s nothing to be worried about, probably just a cold forming,” Penelope lied as she looked up at her best friend who was standing in front of her by this point.

Frowning, Izzie pushed the matter, “Are you sure? Because you’ve been gone for twenty minutes and you’re sitting on the floor of the bathroom.” She crossed her arms as she waited for Penelope to answer her.

“I said I’m fine. I quit coughing a while ago, I just didn’t want to go back to class,” Penelope shot back, her voice with a hint of annoyance laced in it. Standing up so she was eye level with Izzie, she added, “We should probably get back.” 

“Alright then. I’ll assume you’ll tell me when you’re ready,” Izzie calmly replied, knowing it would do no good to push Penelope further when she was like this. The last time Izzie had seen her like this was when she had broken up with Josie, which Izzie never understood. The two had been wild about each other, and as far as she knew, Penelope still loved Josie. Not giving Penelope a chance to say anything, she walked away back to class, glancing back once to make sure Penelope was following her.

\---------------------------

It was the middle of track practice the first week of November that Izzie had a fit of coughing similar to the one Penelope had had the week prior. Jogging off to the side, she kept coughing, making a mental note to yell at Penelope for getting her sick later. It wasn’t until she felt the petal come out of her mouth that she realized things may be more serious than she thought. Making sure to grab a hold of the petal, she shoved it into her pocket as Casey walked over.

“Newton, hey,” Izzie managed to say, weakly smiling at the taller girl.

Raising an eyebrow at Izzie’s expression, Casey asked, “Are you okay? You sound like how Penelope did the other day in chemistry. Did she get you sick?”

It took Izzie a few seconds to reply, because she was putting together the idea that what was going on with her was probably what was going on with Penelope. They were both suffering from unrequited love and it was quite possibly going to kill both of them. “N-No, I don’t think she did, but I think I have something similar to what she has,” Izzie finally replied, still lost in thought about what was happening. She knew that Penelope was still obviously in love with Josie, and she knew that they stood a good chance of getting back together. It was herself she was worried about, because as much as she hated to admit it, she had serious feelings for Casey, but she doubted Casey would ever be into her like that, considering she had just broken up with Evan. 

“Maybe you should go home and rest before you become even sicker,” Casey gently suggested, effectively pulling Izzie out of her thoughts.

“She’s right, you should,” Coach Crowley said as she walked over to where the two girls had been talking, making sure to add, “We don’t need you pushing yourself too hard so that you get even more sick.”

Looking back and forth between Casey and Coach Crowley, Izzie conceded, “Alright, I’ll see you guys tomorrow.” 

Once they bid their farewells, Izzie walked back to the locker room in an attempt to prevent herself from coughing. As she walked, she pulled out the flower petal and recognized it as dahlia petal. Sighing, knowing full well that it was Casey’s favorite flower, she put the petal back in her pocket, and hurried to the locker room where she pulled out her phone and sent a text to Penelope.

**Izzie:** I’ll be at your house in 20 minutes. We need to talk.

Not giving Penelope a chance to refuse, Izzie threw her phone back in her bag and hurriedly changed, then took off to Penelope’s house. Fortunately for her, Penelope didn’t live too far away, so it wasn’t a terrible walk, and she was there within her estimation of twenty minutes. Walking up to the door, she knocked and waited for someone to open the door. While she waited, she was hit by another coughing fit, causing more petals to fall from her mouth. She had just managed to finish picking them up when the door opened.

“I take it you didn’t see my text that I wasn’t feeling well,” Penelope stated as she opened the door wider so Izzie could come in.

Walking into the house, Izzie said over her shoulder to Penelope, “Well I’m not feeling well either and I think we could help each other out.”

Not yet aware of what Izzie was trying to say, Penelope said in a resigned manner, “I don’t think you can really help me with what’s wrong, no offense Iz. It’s just out of your control.”

Deciding to seize the moment, Izzie quickly said, “But you do know what was in your control? Telling your best friend that you happen to be coughing up flower petals, much like I’m about to tell you, because I am. I’m finally ready to admit to you that I have feelings for someone, and as you can probably guess, my feelings are quite unrequited based on the fact that I’m coughing up dahlia petals.” Izzie watched as Penelope’s face fell at her words as she realized what Izzie had told her.

“How did yo- I mean how could you have possibly figured it out?” Penelope managed to stammer out as sat down in a chair.

“An off-hand comment by someone and then just some good guessing skills,” Izzie admitted before going on to ask, “Why didn’t you tell me last week about the petals?”

Looking away from Izzie, Penelope somewhat nervously explained, “I was scared to tell you, and I didn’t want to accept what they meant. The fact that Josie doesn’t have feelings for me anymore. She must be moving on which is good considering I was the one who broke her heart, but it sucks knowing that my feelings for her are still as strong as they were when I asked her to be my girlfriend.” Finally looking up at Izzie who was still standing, Penelope asked, “Who are you in love with?” Penelope had picked up on the fact that Izzie wasn’t mentioning who it was she was coughing up petals for, but she had some pretty good guesses as to who it good be. Her main guess was of course the one girl Izzie could never shut up about, and who also happened to be Izzie’s lab partner in chemistry, Casey Gardner.

“It’s Casey,” Izzie quietly admitted, going on to ramble, “I don’t know why I’m suddenly being affected by this though, because I’ve had feelings for her for a while, I just never admitted them. I mean her and I almost kissed in her room on her birthday, so she must’ve had feelings, but now she doesn’t? I know Evan broke up with her, so she could just be closed off from her feelings, especially if he cited me as a cause for the break-up, but I’ll never know for certain because she doesn’t talk to me about Evan stuff. But she has seemed closed off of late, although it hasn’t been imp-” Izzie was cut off but a sudden coughing fit as more petals fell from her mouth. When she finally finished coughing, she moved to a chair in an attempt to recover from her fit.

“I guess that was your body’s way of telling you to shut up,” Penelope joked before turning serious as she asked, “What are we going to do about this predicament that we’re in?”

When Izzie finally managed to quit coughing, she rasped out, “Hope they end up having feelings for us before we quite literally die from ours.” Clearing her throat, Izzie frowned at the situation they were in.

Thinking back to all the interactions she had seen between Casey and Izzie, Penelope carefully said, “Iz, I think Casey does like you, but it’s just like you said, since her break-up with Evan, she’s been off. Which means she’s probably not letting herself feel much of anything, and that’s probably how you’ve come to be afflicted.” Pausing momentarily as she figured out what to say next, Penelope ended up adding, “I’m sure once she gets over her break-up, her feelings will come back. As for me, I don’t think Josie will ever have the feelings she once had for me ever again. She just got over them and it’s been four months. There’s no way she would ever allow herself to love me again.”

“Listen, you don’t get to be all pessimistic about this. Sure, we are technically marching towards our deaths, but we don’t control how other people feel about us. There’s a chance for both of us to survive this,” Izzie replied in a semi-confident manner, deciding to focus more on Penelope as she didn’t want to think about how Penelope might be right about Casey.

Penelope went to reply, but instead burst into a fit of coughing that was filled with daisy petals and a few specks of blood. After several minutes of coughing, Penelope was finally able to hoarsely reply, “I love your optimism, I really do, but Josie hates me. There’s nothing anyone can do that can change that fact, because Josie can’t know about this. She’ll just feel guilty, and I couldn’t live in a world where she only loved me out of guilt.” 

“Then don’t tell her about this. Ask her if you can hangout or something so you can talk,” Izzie suggested knowing full well Penelope would hate the idea.

“There is no way she would ever agree to talking to me!” Penelope exclaimed, a bit too loudly, which caused her to cough again.

Waiting until Penelope’s coughing subsided, Izzie retorted, “Then I’ll talk to her myself and convince her she needs to talk to you.” Izzie really didn’t know how Penelope would take this suggestion, but she didn’t think it was the worst idea she had ever had.

Penelope hesitated in answering Izzie, because in all honesty, Penelope didn’t see anything wrong with what Izzie had suggested. Begrudgingly conceding, Penelope said, “Alright. But not telling her about this.” Penelope gestured to the flower petals that had fallen to the ground in front of her.

“Deal. I’ll talk to her tomorrow during French, since that’s the one class I have with her that you’re not in,” Izzie said, planning out how she would go about talking to Josie. For her being best friends with Penelope, Josie really didn’t try to avoid Izzie, and Izzie appreciated how Josie didn’t hold being Penelope’s friend against her.

“Sounds like a plan,” Penelope stated, wondering if Izzie’s plan would actually work.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, here I am with the quick update of this since I had it written. I really only struggled with where to cut it off at, but I finally found a place. Enjoy!

Walking into French the next day, Izzie was nervous about talking to Josie. Fortunately, she sat in front of Josie, so talking to her wouldn’t be too hard. Izzie waited for Josie to come into the classroom, and when she finally did and sat down at her desk, Izzie turned around and started nervously speaking, “Josie, I need to talk to you. It’s really important.”

“What is it?” Josie apprehensively asked, hoping this wouldn’t have anything to do with Penelope.

Swallowing hard, Izzie managed to say, “Look, I know that things between you and Penelope aren’t in a good place, and I’m well aware as to why. But Penelope-” Izzie was cut off by a coughing fit, and she could feel the petals in her throat as she coughed. Turning away from Josie momentarily, she managed to hide them as she stuck them in her bookbag. When she finally stopped coughing, she turned back to Josie and continued, “She really needs to talk to you. And I know that’s the last thing you want to do, but what she has to say is really important.”

Josie frowned at Izzie, not wanting to talk to Penelope alone, Izzie’s persistence that it was important was nagging at her. As she went to reply to Izzie, the teacher started passing out a packet, and was explaining what she wanted them to do with it, as well as assigning them partners to translate with. Fortunately for Josie, the teacher paired her with Izzie, and this meant she could talk to her more about what Penelope wanted.

“Looks like fate that we’re working together,” Izzie joked as she grabbed her packet and set it on Josie’s desk so they could start translating. 

“I guess so,” Josie cautiously said before adding, “I’ll talk to Penelope, but only if you tell me what she wants to talk to me about.”

Hesitant to answer, Izzie eventually replied, “I’m not really sure what she wants to talk about. All I know is that she has something that she needs to tell you. The best friend card didn’t get me the knowledge I needed.”

“So you really have no idea?” Josie asked in an attempt to see if izzie would divulge any information.

“I really don’t know what she wants to say,” Izzie said, glancing at everyone else in the class before suggesting, “We should probably get started.

“Yeah, we probably should,” Josie agreed, deep in thought about what Penelope could want.

French class was going smoothly; Izzie and Josie were making good progress on their packet even though their minds were elsewhere, and they actually worked well together at translating. Izzie should have known that everything was going too well, because towards the end of class, she was hit by a coughing spell. It came on so quickly that she couldn’t stop the first petal from falling to the desk in front of her. In an attempt to prevent Josie from seeing it, Izzie covered it with her other arm, but when she glanced up at Josie, she saw that her attempt was in vain. She could see the knowing look on Josie’s face, but she was still coughing and couldn’t say anything.

When Izzie finally quit coughing, Josie didn’t even give her a chance to say anything, instead worriedly asking, “How long has that been going on?”

Biting her bottom lip as she thought about her response, Izzie eventually answered, “Just since yesterday, so I’m not that bad.”

“But there’s a chance you could get that bad, and you know that,” Josie stayed, then frowned at her words, realizing how harsh they might have sounded, “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to be a downer about this. If I may ask, who is it that has you coughing up dahlia petals?”

“You know what type of flowers these are?” Izzie incredulously asked, and when Josie nodded, Izzie opted to answer Josie’s question, “I- uh, you can’t tell anyone, okay?”

“Of course. I won’t tell anyone,” Josie genuinely said, knowing it wouldn’t be her secret to tell.

Taking Josie for her word, Ozzie quietly confessed, “It’s Casey.”

Nodding as she thought about how Izzie acted around Casey, Josie replies, “That makes sense. You always seem different around her, less guarded,” Josie hesitated before reluctantly adding, “Kind of like how Penelope was around me. I can see why you two make good friends.”

“Am I really that different around her?” Izzie asked, slightly perplexed as to how both Josie and Penelope hadn’t seem surprised. When Josie nodded, Izzie went on to say, “And I guess you’re right about why Penelope and I make good friends. Her and I really are the exact same.” Izzie knew her statement had a deeper meaning, but she doubted Josie would pick up on it, because it was such a small remark.

Josie was silent for a moment as she thought about Izzie’s words; it had been as if there was a resigned tone to Izzie’s voice that Josie couldn’t figure out the meaning of. Shrugging it off as her imagination, Josie eventually said, “You guys aren’t the exact same. I didn’t mean it like that.”

A laugh escaped Izzie’s mouth as she said, “I know you didn’t, but in the aspects that matter, her and I are the same.” Izzie turned her attention back to the packet they were supposed to be translating, hoping Josie would drop the conversation, which she did. 

The rest of their French class went by slowly as they both avoided the elephant that was obviously in the room. Even though they spent the rest of the time translating, both girls were distracted. Josie was distracted by trying to figure out what Izzie meant, whereas Izzie was left hoping she didn’t say too much.

\--------------------------

After class, Izzie quickly found Penelope so she could tell her what had happened with Josie. What she wasn’t prepared for was finding Penelope talking to Casey. Shooting a glance at Penelope, Izzie frowned when the other girl shrugged, not wanting to disclose what she had been doing.

Casey, sensing something was happening started walking away as she said, “I’ll see you two in chemistry. Try not to be late losers.”

“If we are, take notes for me Newton,” Izzie called after Casey, which got her a middle finger from Casey, but Izzie knew Casey would.

“Before you kill me for talking to her, I was just asking her about English homework. If you happened to come up in conversation, that’s not my fault,” Penelope said in defense of herself before asking, “How did things go with Josie?”

“Uh yeah, about that,” Izzie hesitantly started, “Good news is she agreed to meet and talk to you. Bad news is she kinda found out about the whole me coughing up flowers because of my feelings for Casey.”

“She what?! Why did you tell her?” Penelope asked, annoyance and confusion laced throughout her voice.

“I didn’t tell her, she figured it out on her own. It’s not hard to figure out when you see someone coughing up flower petals,” Izzie calmly stated, not wanting to add to Penelope’s outrage.

Not knowing what to say to that, Penelope just nodded and started walking to chemistry. The whole matter was a mess, but at least Josie had agreed to talk to her. That was at least one good thing that happened.

Taking off after Penelope, Izzie caught up with her as they walked into chemistry, “Penelope! It’s not the end of the world, it doesn’t change anything.” Izzie suddenly realized that everyone in their class was looking at her and Penelope, including Josie and Casey. Looking down at the ground nervously, Izzie walked to her seat and sat down, hoping everyone’s curiosity would dissipate. 

“What was that?” Casey asked Izzie as the shorter girl sat down.

“Oh, it’s nothing. Penelope is just being stubborn about something,” Izzie replied in a tense manner. Izzie hoped she sounded believable, but the look on Casey’s face said otherwise, but Casey didn’t push it, instead she changed the topic.

“How badly do you think Crowley will kill us today at practice?” Casey asked in her attempt to change the topic off of whatever was happening with Penelope.

The mention of track practice caused a sinking feeling to form in Izzie’s stomach, because she knew she probably wouldn’t make it through practice without a lot of coughing, but she found herself saying, “”Crowley always kills us, it’s a given.” Her response got a laugh out of Casey, and then their chemistry teacher started teaching the day’s lesson.

\--------------------------

Penelope was nervously standing near Josie’s locker so she could talk to the brunette when she arrived. She figured that since Josie agreed to talk to her, after school would be fine since Lizzie was her ride home, and Lizzie had cheer practice after school. She was fiddling with the bracelet on her wrist when she heard Josie’s voice.

“I’m guessing you want to talk now?” Josie questioned, her voice void of any emotion.

“If that’s okay with you, I would like to. But if you have something to do, I get it,” Penelope replied, fighting back the urge to cough. As much as it hurt to hold it in, she couldn’t risk Josie finding out about her ailment.

Frowning at Penelope, Josie eventually said, “We can talk in the library. The librarian always leaves it open for me, because she knows I stay after.” Josie opened her locker as she said this and started to put her belongings in her backpack.

“That works for me. I’ll try not to be too long,” Penelope said, in an attempt to avoid an awkward silence. It was obvious to her that Josie was guarded with her emotions, and Penelope really couldn’t blame her. She was Josie’s ex-girlfriend after all, and she wanted to talk to Josie alone.

Closing her locker door, Josie turned towards Penelope, signalling she was ready to go, and started walking away, leaving Penelopt to follow after her. Josie didn’t say anything the entire time they walked to the library, but when they finally sat down at a table she flatly asked, “What did you want to talk about Penelope?”

Penelope’s mind went blank as soon as Josie asked her that question. Everything she had thought about telling Josie was suddenly forgotten, and Penelope hated it because she just sat there in silence as she tried to figure out what to say.

“For not wanting to be too long, you sure are dragging out answering my question,” Josie stated in annoyance, pulling Penelope out of her thoughts.

“Josie...I’m not here to cause any problems,” Penelope hesitated, feeling a burning feeling in the back of her throat before shakily continuing, “If anything, I’m here to apologize to you. For a lot of things, because I realize I never did, and that was an asshat decision on my part.” When Penelope saw Josie’s face soften at her words, Penelope continued a little more confidently, “The way I broke up with you, and my reasoning for doing so, it was wrong on every level. It hurt you, and instead of trying to make it a semi-better situation, I made it worse by arguing with you. I’m sorry for that, so incredibly sorry, because you didn’t deserve that. You didn’t deserve any of what happened.” Penelope stopped talking as she couldn’t keep from coughing any longer, but she made sure she was facing away from Josie so that she wouldn’t see anything. Penelope could taste the flowery taste of the daisy petals mixed with the metallic taste of blood as she coughed, and she winced at the pain in her lungs.

Waiting until Penelope finally quit coughing, Josie asked, “Are you okay?” Her voice was mildly concerned, but not overly concerned, as Josie didn’t want to appear as if she cared. But she did care, because she remembered how the previous week Penelope had broken out coughing and had left chemistry.

“Yeah, I’m all good. It’s probably just allergies,” Penelope replied, coughing one final time when she finished talking. She knew it was a bullshit excuse, but she was hoping Josie wouldn’t see it.

“Oh, okay,” Josie said, knowing that Penelope had never had any previous issues with allergies; at least none she ever told Josie about. Josie went on to say, “I appreciate your apology, but I don’t understand what brought it on. And I’m not really sure what you expect to happen because of it.” 

“I-I guess I just realized I owed you an apology for everything,” Penelope managed to say before admitting, “And I don’t know if I expected anything to become of this. I mean I would appreciate if we could be friends, or at the very least work on becoming friends. I just hate the fighting we always do, which is usually caused by me.”

Josie didn’t say anything at first. Instead she thought about what it would mean to be Penelope’s friend, because with all their history, being friends would come with its own issues. Not to mention Josie felt like she had finally gotten over her relationship with Penelope, and she didn’t want to jeopardize that with becoming her friend. Then again, Josie knew she needed to have more people who would defend her if the situation ever arose, because she certainly didn’t have many people as it stood. Cautiously, Josie finally agreed, “Friends would be nice.” She didn’t miss the look of pure excitement that flashed across Penelope’s face before she quickly toned it done.

“I appreciate this Josie,” Penelope genuinely said before starting to stand up as she said, “I should probably leave you to do your work now. I don’t want to overstay my welcome.”

“I’ll see you around then I guess. It’ll be nice to not fight when we talk to each other now,” Josie revealed as Penelope started walking away backwards. After they exchanged their farewells, Josie could hear Penelope coughing in the hallway, causing Josie to once again wonder what was wrong with Penelope. Her thoughts drifted to Izzie then as she thought about how she was doing, because Josie knew that track practice probably wouldn’t go over well with her current predicament. Josie had yet to correlate just how similar Penelope’s cough was to Izzie’s.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well that's that. I feel like this chapter was mostly a set-up for the rest of the events, which are currently in the works. I'm not sure how frequent my updates for all my stories will be in the upcoming weeks, because finals are approaching, but I'll try my best. You can find my dumb self on Twitter @posieclown


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! I'm finally back with the next update to this fic. I'm really proud of this chapter, I think the ending is probably my favorite part, so I hope you enjoy!

Izzie has been sent home from practice yet again after her third bout of coughing. Coach Crowley couldn’t take listening to her anymore, and sent her off with the order that she wasn’t to come back until her cough cleared up. Knowing she couldn’t tell Coach Crowley that she probably wouldn’t return for a while, if ever, Izzie just nodded, saying she would try to get better quickly and started walking away. What she wasn’t expecting when she was halfway back to the locker room was someone running after her.

“Hey, Iz,” Casey breathed out once she caught up to Izzie, “I know Crowley is sending you home, but if you hang around, I can take you to my house if you want. Elsa was making soup today, and she would kill me if I didn’t invite you over for it, especially since you’re sick. She claims her soup has healing properties.” Casey rolled her eyes as she said her last sentence.

“I don’t know if that’s a good idea,” Izzie said, even though she would love to go home with Casey.

“Of course it’s a good idea! At least come for a bowl of soup, then I can take you home,” Casey countered, a hopeful smile on her face.

By this point they were standing outside the door to the locker room, and Izzie knew Casey had to get back to practice. “Alright. I’ll come get some of Elsa’s soup,” Izzie conceded before adding, “Now you better get back to practice before Crowley makes you run extra.”

Laughing, Casey replied, “She already is, don’t worry.” After Casey said this, she turned and started jogging back to the track.

Izzie watched Casey jog away before walking into the locker room. Sighing, she started to slowly change, not sure what she would do once she was done. There was always the option of walking through the school; she could probably find someone to talk to, seeing as people always stayed after for varying reasons. Once she finished changing, Izie grabbed her belongings and started walking back into the school, sending Casey a text that she would be in the school as she walked. It was this decision that caused her to run into someone who also seemed to be distracted as they walked.

“I’m so sorry, I was looking through my bookbag for something and didn’t see you,” the person who Izzie ran into said, and Izzie instantly recognized the voice.

“Well hello to you too Penelope,” Izzie said, once she made sure the person in front of her really was Penelope.

Penelope looked up at Izzie, nervously saying, “Oh, hey Izzie. I just got done talking to Josie.”

“That’s good news isn’t it? How did it go?” Izzie questioned, unsure when Penelope was so nervous about talking to Josie.

“Yeah, it is good. She agreed to being friends, it’s just I want to tell her what’s going on with me. She’s the person I would tell everything serious too—no offense—and that fact hasn’t changed,” Penelope revealed, crossing her arms as she did so in an attempt to comfort herself.

Izzie bit her bottom lip as she thought about what Penelope had just said before suggesting, “I know you don’t want to tell her, but she’s going to have to find out eventually. Maybe you should write her a letter and give it to her. Explain everything that’s going on, and give it to her when you feel the time is right.”

Penelope thought about what Izzie said, and she knew her friend was right; Josie was going to figure out at some point. Finally answering Izzie, Penelope said, “That’s a good idea. Maybe I’ll do that.”

Before Izzie could reply, both girls turned their attention down the hall where they could hear the sound of approaching laughter. Izzie could hear Penelope take in a sharp breath when she saw it was Josie, accompanied by Hope Mikaelson. Izzie wasn’t even aware that Hope and Josie were friends, but she had heard rumors of Hope getting close with Josie’s twin sister, Lizzie. It made sense to Izzie that the two would start being associated with one another, but Izzie had a feeling that Penelope wouldn’t take it that way. Izzie was about to say something to Penelope when Hope spotted them.

“Oh hey guys,” Hope said once she saw them.

Josie stopped laughing when she realized who was standing there and asked, “Isn’t there track practice today Izzie?”

“There is, I got sent home early for being sick. Casey is taking me to her house once practice is over though,” Izzie admitted, looking away once she saw the understanding look on Josie’s face.

Hope piped up before Josie could say anything, “I hope you feel better soon Izzie. We may not talk much, but I know track means a lot to you, so missing it must suck.”

Shifting her gaze to Hope, Izzie gave what she hoped was a convincing smile, “I’m sure I’ll feel better soon. I don’t think it’s nothing to worry about, Crowley just doesn’t want to chance anything.”

Coincidentally, Josie and Penelope both cleared their throats at the same time due to what they knew about Izzie, causing Hope to sense that something was going on.

“I think I’m gonna go see if Lizzie is done with practice yet. . .” Hope trailed off as she slowly started walking away from the three other girls.

“I’ll catch up with you in a minute,” Josie said, turning her head to look at Hope as she did so.

“Alright, I’ll see you in a few then,” Hope uneasily replied, turning to far down the hallway that led to the gym.

“I’m just going to go out on a limb and say that Penelope already knows,” Josie hurriedly started, knowing she had to catch up with Hope and Lizzie before they left without her; which has happened in the past. Once she got a nod of agreement out of Izzie, Josie continued on, “I know you said this just started yesterday, but you should really talk to Casey before it gets any worse.”

Izzie nodded at Josie’s words, “I know I should, but I don’t want her to return my feelings out of guilt. It’s something I’m sure many people can agree on about this.” 

Penelope saw this as her chance to interject herself into the conversation, “Izzie’s right, it would be best if the feelings were genuine instead of forced. No one wants to be loved out of guilt.” Penelope looked down at the ground as she said the last question, thinking about how she would be in that situation is Josie found out about her.

“I guess you make a valid argument, but I guess I’m just worried about the serious implications of what’s going on, and I get that we aren’t super close Izzie, but that doesn’t mean I don’t see you as a good friend,” Josie hesitated, adding onto her statement, “You helped me out when I really needed someone who would listen and I appreciated it so much. I just want to repay the favor.”

Taking a deep breath, Penelope knew Josie was probably referencing their break-up, but she never knew that Izzie had helped Josie during it. She instantly regretted taking a deep breath when she felt the burning in her lungs. Turning to the side, she started coughing, trying to stop, but when she couldn’t, she walked away into the nearest bathroom before any petals fell to the ground.

Izzie could see the concern on Josie’s face, but she also saw how Josie managed to hide it when she realized Izzie was watching her. She wondered if Josie’s feelings had truly gone away, because for a brief second, Izzie had recognized the look on Josie’s face as one she had given Penelope when they had been dating; there was just a certain softness to it that she couldn’t describe.

“I should probably go before practice is actually over and Lizzie leaves me here again. I’ll see you tomorrow Izzie. Make sure you read a little bit more of that French packet,” Josie said as she started walking away from Izzie.

“Yeah, don’t worry, I will. And if I don’t, I’ll act like I did,” Izzie said in response before walking off to the bathroom Penelope had gone into.

\--------------------------

Penelope could hear footsteps approaching, and she knew it was probably Izzie so she croaked out, “You never told me you helped Josie when I broke up with her.”

“Really? That’s the first thing you want to bring up?” Izzie questioned before offering an explanation to what Penelope had said, “I became friends with her while you two dated. Sometimes we did stuff together, so when you told me you had broken up with her, I reached out, because I knew she would need someone. And I didn’t tell you, because even though we tell each other everything, that wasn’t something that you needed to be told.”

“I’m guessing she said a lot of shit about me then,” Penelope dejectedly said, knowing Izzie’s reasoning was sound.

Sighing, Izzie replied, “I’m not going to answer that, and you know that. And since you seem to be okay, I’m going to go find Casey since track is finishing up. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“That’s fair, and hey, for the record, I think I’m going to write that letter to Josie tonight,” Penelope admitted before Izzie left.

“I’m glad,” Izzie said, turning to walk out of the bathroom and back towards the locker room.

\--------------------------

“Oh Izzie! I was so glad when Casey told me you would be joining us tonight, but then she told me you were sick, so I made you some soup,” Elsa exclaimed when Casey and Izzie entered the house.

“Casey told me that you were already making soup today. . .” Izzie trailed off as she turned to look at Casey.

“Hey, I knew you wouldn’t agree to come otherwise,” Casey innocently said, holding her hands up to prove her point.

Izzie didn’t know what to say, because Casey was right, she wouldn’t have agreed to come. She had barely agreed to come as it is, but she found it hard to say no to Casey.

“Well, everything will be ready in a few minutes if you wanted to go put your stuff in Casey’s room,” Elsa suggested as she walked back to the kitchen to attend to her cooking.

“That’s alright Mrs Gardner. I’m leaving after we eat, because I don’t want to spread my sickness everywhere,” Izzie said in response, hoping she sounded believable since she knew her illness wasn’t contagious.

“I suppose that’s true. Hopefully your siblings don’t catch it when you go home,” Elsa pointed out, hoping Izzie would take precautions to prevent her illness from spreading to her siblings.

Izzie meekly smiled as walked closer to the kitchen saying, “Don’t worry, I’m sure they’ll be fine.” She could feel the burning pain starting in her lungs, so before anyone could say anything, she excused herself to go to the bathroom where she finally was able to cough, letting the petals pile up in the sink. This was only her second day of this, and it was already becoming a nuisance; she had no idea how Penelope had managed to deal with it for at least a week. When she finally quit coughing, she disposed of the petals and returned downstairs where she saw Casey worriedly glance at her.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” Casey asked Izzie as Izzie sat down next to her. She had been able to hear Izzie coughing upstairs, and it had sounded pretty painful.

“Yeah, I’m sure it’ll be gone before long,” Izzie reassured Casey, knowing full well there was some truth to what she was telling Casey. Her cough would be gone before long, whether it was because she succumbed to her illness or Casey reciprocated her feelings, that was still to be determined.

Casey didn’t have a chance to respond as Sam walked into the room saying something, but he stopped as he walked by Izzie and asked, “Izzie, did you change perfumes?”

“Sam! What the hell? Did you smell her as you walked by?” Casey exclaimed, hitting Sam in the arm as she did so.

“Ow! No I didn’t. I was just breathing, and when I usually walk by Izzie it’s more of a citrus scent, but tonight when I walked by, it was more of a floral scent. The only natural conclusion is that she changed her perfumes to a floral fragrance,” Sam explained as he sat down in his seat.

Izzie let out a nervous chuckle at Sam’s observation because she wasn’t aware that the floral odor was noticeable. Figuring to just roll with what Sam had said, Izzie stated, “I did Sam. I ran out of my usual one, so now I’m using another perfume I have, which is more of a floral scent.”

\--------------------------

Penelope sat down at her desk in order to write a letter to Josie. A letter she had no idea when she would give to the girl she loved so much it was killing her. Penelope really didn’t know what she was feeling as she pulled out some paper and a pen to start writing. What she did know was that she stared at the paper for twenty minutes before she just started writing nonstop, a few tears being shed along the way.

_ Dear Jojo, _

_ You probably wonder why I wrote you a letter instead of simply talking to you, but this was the only way that I could actually tell you what I needed to tell you. Honestly, Izzie gave me the idea when I told her how I can’t tell you this in person. It would be too hard for me to do, because I don’t know how I could look you in the eyes and tell you I’m dying, because I am. I truly am dying and it’s all because of my own stupid fault. I’m dying because I still love you Josie and you don’t feel the same way anymore, so I’ve been granted the wonderful opportunity of coughing up flower petals and blood because of it. Now here is where I think some explanation is needed for context. _

_ When I broke up with you, I didn’t do it because I didn’t love you anymore, I did it because I love you so much that I couldn’t bear to see you constantly put yourself second to Lizzie. You are your own amazing and wonderful person, and the world deserves to see that Josie Saltzman. THe Josie Saltzman that only ever felt as if she could show herself when we were hanging out by ourselves. So maybe I broke up with you for a selfish reason, but I thought it was right at the time. I guess I’m learning the hard way that the decision I made wasn’t the right one. Somehow, out of all of this, I hope you still find a way to show the world who you truly are. And as much as it pains me to say it, I hope you find someone who loves you just as much as I did, because you deserve to be in a good and happy relationship. _

_ Today, when you made a comment to Izzie about how she was there for you after our breakup, I’m glad she was able to be there for you. She really is a good person and she always seemed to like you. I wish I could say that she would be around for a long time, but I have no idea how her illness will go. Personally, I hope it ends with her and Casey getting together, but time is working against her. I have faith, though, that she will get the happy ending she deserves. _

_ Now, you’re probably wondering how bad my sickness is at the time of writing this letter, and I’ll tell you. I’ve been sick for a little over a week, and it is awful. I have coughed up so many flower petals that it’s ridiculous. I wish I knew how much longer I had left with this disease, but I can already feel myself getting worse and worse. It’s starting with the fact that I’m finding it harder and harder to stay awake, and to also catch my breath sometimes. I hope stave off getting too bad until after we hang out a little bit, because I just need to hang out with you for a little bit before I ultimately succumb to this. _

_ That’s one of the main reasons I asked to talk to you. I needed to re-establish our relationship as friends because you’re one of the only people I want to talk to right now as I get sicker and sicker. You just always had a unique way of looking at life, and it will forever be one of my favorite things about you. I hope that in the next few weeks, we can make some final epic memories together so that your last true memories of me won’t be how I broke up with you and refused to talk to you for months. At least this way, we will have been friends, so you should have some positive memories when the time comes. _

_ I don’t really have much else to say in this letter. All I can say is that you truly are a spectacular person who deserves the world. All I can hope is that you find someone in life who can give you the world and more. I love you Jojo, and I won’t stop loving you until the day I die. _

_ Truthfully yours, _

_ Penelope Park _

Penelope wiped at her eyes as she finished writing the letter, a few tears falling onto the paper. She really didn’t know when she would give Josie the letter, but she was glad that she had at least written it. The only problem was that now that she had written the letter, all of her energy was gone. She laid her head down on the desk and drifted off into a restless sleep, waking up every now and then to cough up flower petals tinged with blood.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To be honest, I think that letter is the most angst-y thing I have ever written, and I hope it delivered on that point. I'll see you guys at the next update! Until then, take care everyone!


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm finally back with an update! I hope you enjoy!

Two days later it was Sunday and Izzie spent it taking care of her siblings, just like she always did. She wished that for just one day she could live a normal life where she didn’t have to worry about being the parent to her younger siblings. Sure, her grandma helped, but there was only so much she could do to help Izzie. So that’s how Izzie found herself making breakfast for her siblings as she tried to keep from coughing; she didn’t want to alarm anyone, not that anyone in the house would notice. And if they did, her siblings would just think she was sick, that she would recover soon, because Izzie always got better in their minds.

“Izzie, I have soccer practice today,” Izzie’s younger brother, Colton, said as he walked into the kitchen.

“What time is it?” Izzie asked him, keeping her attention on the pancakes she was making so that they wouldn’t burn.

“Uh, I think two o’clock at the field in the park,” Colton said, his voice full of uncertainty as he sat down at the table in the kitchen.

Izzie turned to look at him then, asking, “Is grandma taking you or am I?”

Colton didn’t say anything at first, but he eventually replied, “I hadn’t asked grandma yet, but I’m sure she can take me, and maybe watch Emma and Skylar so you can go hang out with Casey or Penelope.” He didn’t miss that way his sister’s face lit up when he mentioned Casey’s name, but that was teasing for another day because he could sense that something was up with his sister, because he had heard her coughing most of the night.

“I can take you,” Izzie said as she turned back to the stove to put some of the pancakes on a plate, going on to add, “But I’m going to see if grandma can watch Emma and Skylar because I need to talk to Josie about something.”

Colton had rarely heard her sister talk about Josie, so, naturally, his curiosity was piqued as he asked, “What do you need to talk to Josie about?”

“We, uh, have something we have to translate for French class and it’s due tomorrow,” Izzie explained, not wanting to explain to him that the main reason she was meeting with Josie was to give Penelope’s letter to her. 

\--------------------------

_ Izzie was just finishing up changing Skylar’s diaper when her phone went off, and when she looked at it, she saw that it was a text from Penelope asking if she could come over for a few minutes. She didn’t really want Penelope to come to her house and see just how much responsibility she had, but she had no other choice, her grandma was busy until later that evening, so Izzie was stuck watching her siblings. So, much to her dismay, she found herself sending a text back to Penelope that included her address since Penelope had never been to her house; Izzie’s neighborhood was a far cry from the fancy, rich neighborhood Penelope lived in that was surprisingly only ten minutes away from Izzie’s neighborhood. Penelope had sent a text back saying she would be there soon, and Izzie spent that time finishing up taking care of her siblings. _

_ When Izzie opened the door, she didn’t even have a chance to greet Penelope, as Penelope started talking as soon as she saw Izzie. _

_ “Okay so I did what you said and I wrote a letter,” Penelope starting saying, holding up the letter when she mentioned it, and kept talking, “But there’s no way I’m ever going to actually give it to her, so I need you to. You can give it to her whenever, but don’t tell her to open it until my birthday in December. I just want to spend the next few weeks being her friend, and I don’t want to fuck that up with this letter. Can you give it to her?” _

_ Izzie hadn’t been expecting Penelope to actually write the letter like she had said, but she didn’t let her shock show, rather, opting to reply, “Yeah, I can give it to her, but I’m going to do it as soon as I can so this doesn’t get lost.” _

_ Penelope nodded in agreement to what Izzie said, saying, “Of course, that makes sense. Just make sure she knows not to open it until my birthday.” Handing the letter off to Izzie, Penelope started to play with her hands, not knowing what else to do.  _

_ Sensing Penelope’s unease, Izzie asked, “Do you want to stay here for a little and hang out?” As an afterthought, she added, “You can meet my siblings, and my mom isn’t home, so we don’t have to worry about her starting shit.” _

_ “That would be great, thanks Izzie. I really appreciate this,” Penelope said as she sat down in a chair in Izzie’s living room. _

_ And so Penelope stayed for a few hours at Izzie’s house, trying to not think about the fact that she probably wouldn’t be around for when Josie read the letter; Penelope really believed that she would not live to see her seventeenth birthday. Izzie did introduce her siblings to Penelope, and they loved her. Emma managed to talk Penelope into drawing with her, which was all she could talk about after Penelope left, much to Colton’s annoyance. Izzie enjoyed the time spent with Penelope, even if it all stemmed from the fact that they were both getting closer to their deaths. Izzie loved how much Penelope got along with her siblings, and a part of her realized that there really was nothing wrong with people coming over, at least when her mom wasn’t there or one of her asshat boyfriends. But then Penelope had to go, saying she had to go somewhere with her mom, and then Izzie was left alone with her siblings. _

\--------------------------

Izzie’s grandma had ended up taking all of Izzie’s siblings, simply explaining that Izzie needed to focus on her schoolwork and that Colton would get to his soccer practice. So this is how Izzie found herself sitting at a table in the public library waiting for Josie to show up, which she was currently approaching Izzie.

“Hey,” Josie greeted, continuing on with speaking as she asked, “I thought we were meeting up after school tomorrow to finish translating the packet?”

“You’re right, we are. I just couldn’t tell you the real reason why I needed to talk to you,” Izzie explained, not really sure why she had come up with the guise of needing to work on their French project. She knew Josie would have agreed to meet and talk with her if she had asked, but for some reason, she used their project as a reason to meet up.

Izzie’s words caught Josie off guard, but she still managed to inquire, “And why do you need to talk to me?”

Reaching into her backpack, Izzie pulled out the envelope that contained Penelope’s letter, all the while saying, “Penelope told me to give you this letter. I have no clue what it says, but I know understand why she gave it to me to give to you. Anyways, she doesn’t want you to read it until her birthday, and she wanted me to make sure you would respect her wishes.” Izzie studied Josie’s face, trying to see what she was thinking, but Josie kept her face stoic as she reached out and took the letter from Izzie.

“Why her birthday? That’s exactly a month away, what do you think she would want to tell me in a letter that needs me to wait a month?” Josie asked Izzie as she looked down at the envelope Izzie had given her; it had Penelope’s handwriting on it, signalling that whatever was inside was for Josie.

“Well, that’s a good question. It could contain anything really, and while I’m her best friend, it’s impossible to know what goes on inside her head sometimes,” Izzie hastily replied, hoping Josie wouldn’t ask a lot of questions about it, because she really didn’t have any good lies to tell Josie.

Josie frowned, knowing that Izzie was right; it was impossible to read Penelope sometimes. After a thoughtful pause, Josie eventually said, “She always did like to write though. She would always give me notes or poems she wrote, but I can’t imagine why she would write a letter.”

“I’m sure she has her reasons, and I guess you’ll find out in a month,” Izzie replied, focusing her gaze on the table, not sure what else to say. She could tell Josie was about to reply, but Izzie started coughing, and with that cough came a few flower petals. When her coughing managed to subside, Izzie gathered the petals that had fallen and put them into her pocket in order to throw them away later. 

After Izzie quit coughing, Josie dropped the topic of Penelope and instead said, “I see things aren’t improving with Casey.”

Izzie just shook her head as she croaked out, “No, not really. I haven’t talked to her since I was at her house.”

“Maybe you should text her, see what she’s up to, and maybe hang out with her if you can,” Josie suggested, aware of the fact that Izzie was usually responsible for her siblings.

“I could because my grandma agreed to watch my siblings until tonight, but I also don’t want to cough in front of her and mess everything up,” Izzie explained to Josie, knowing it was a lame excuse, but she really didn’t want Casey to find out.

Josie stared at Izzie for a few seconds before replying, “If you even want to stand a chance of her realizing her feelings, you’re going to have to hang out with her. You can’t just avoid her for fear she catches you coughing up her favorite flower. You have to put yourself out there sometimes.”

Izzie bit her bottom lip, knowing very well that Josie had a point, and conceded by saying, “Alright, fine. I’ll text her and ask if we can hang out.” Pulling out her phone, Izzie sent a text to Casey asking the very thing she just told Josie.

“That’s what I’m talking about,” Josie said, smiling at the fact that Izzie actually texted Casey.

A response from Casey was quickly received, saying that she was allowed to hang out now, Izzie just had to name the activity. Izzie quickly realized the problem and voiced it Josie, “She can hang out but she said right now, and we just got here. I feel bad making you come here just to ditch you for Casey.”

“Don’t worry about it, you gotta go get your girl. Plus, I’m hanging out with Penelope soon. Since she wanted to try being friends, I texted her last night asking if she wanted to come over and we could study for the chemistry midterm we have coming up,” Josie said to Izzie in an attempt to reassure her that it was all good if she left to go do something with Casey.

“Are you sure?” Izzie asked Josie, continuing to talk by saying, “I don’t want to be a bad friend that asked you to come here and then leave right after you got here.”

Josie rolled her eyes, replying, “I would be a bad friend if I made you stay here instead of going to hang out with Casey.”

Izzie smiled at that, and went to type a response to Casey, but stopped as she asked, “What do you think I should suggest her and I do?”

“I have no clue. What do you guys usually do?” Josie said to Izzie.

“Well we usually go for a run, but that’s obviously not an option,” Izzie said, trailing off before adding, “But sometimes we go to get slushies together. At least we did until the one slushie night we held hands. We haven’t done that since, but maybe it’s time to change that.”

“You are definitely going to have to tell me about that slushie night another time, but for right now, you need to get going so you can get slushies,” Josie excitedly said to Izzie.

Izzie let out a small laugh, “I haven’t even texted her back yet, but I will right now.” With that, Izzie sent her response suggesting going for slushies, and then said to Josie, “Her and I haven’t talked about that slushie night since it happened because she was still dating Evan at the time, so I think she just chose to ignore it.” Izzie set her phone back on the table as she waited for Casey to text back.

Josie frowned at that, saying, “That sucks that she ignored that it happened, but you can tell me all of this another day, seeing as you have a reply already.” As she said the last part of her sentence, Josie gestured towards Izzie’s phone on the table that had lit up when she got the text notification.

Picking up her phone, Izzie read Casey’s text and broke out in a smile as she said to Josie, “She said it’s a go for slushies.”

“Awesome!” Josie exclaimed, giving Izzie a thumbs up.

“Yeah, I guess I better get going then,” Izzie said as she stood up, continuing to say, “I hope things go well with Penelope.”

Josie just chuckled at that as she uncertainly said, “I don’t know what will happen.” Her tone changed as she also said, “Good luck with Casey. I hope everything works out with her.”

Izzie just nodded in response to Josie, and walked out of the library and started on her way to Casey’s house.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter is definitely going to be fun. This chapter was mostly setting up for what's coming next, which is going to be awesome to write. I'll see you all next time when I come back with an update!


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WOAH HEY THERE ALL! I'm surprisingly here with an update! I hope you guys enjoy, although you might hate me by the end

Penelope was surprised when Josie asked if they could hang out and study for their chemistry midterm. Of course she accepted the offer, suggesting her house as the place they could study. As it stood right now, she was waiting for Josie to show up, having received a text that the girl was on her way. A part of her wondered if Izzie had given Josie the letter yet, but these thoughts were cut short when she was hit by a wave of coughing. Her coughing was definitely going to be a problem while Josie was over, but she was hopeful she could stave it off if she tried; she just wanted to spend time with the girl she loved, even if it was ultimately killing her. She had just managed to finish cleaning up the flower petals when she received a text from Josie saying that she had just arrived, so she went and opened the front door.

\--------------------------

Izzie was nervous to go for slushies even though she was also excited to see Casey. There were just so many things that could go wrong, but there was the possibility of things going right. Izzie was trying to ignore those thoughts from running through her head, but they were persistent. The biggest thing that could go wrong, that Izzie knew was a real possibility, was her spewing dahlia petals everywhere. That definitely wouldn’t be good, and she feared what would happen if Casey happened to witness her coughing up flower petals. A part of Izzie hoped that this slushie night would go similar to the previous one because that had been one of the best nights of her life, but she was trying not to get her hopes up.

As it stood, they were on their way to the nearest 7-Eleven and everything was going well. Maybe that should’ve been a sign from the start that something bad was going to end up happening.

\--------------------------

“There better not be a lot of balancing chemical equations on this test,” Penelope huffed out as she ran a hand through her hair, struggling with the problem she was on.

A laugh escaped Josie’s mouth at Penelope’s words as she said, “It’s not her fault you’re bad at math, and you know it.” Josie looked up from her paper to see Penelope glaring at her, so she defended herself, “Look, I’m not the one who struggles with basic counting sometimes.”

“It was one fucking time! One!” Penelope exclaimed, trying not to think about the time she had somehow managed to count to ten wrong, but nonetheless defending herself further, “I was distracted at the time, and you know I am bad at focusing on two things at once.”

“It was just the two of us talking about how many people we were expecting to be at a party. What could you have been distracted by?” Josie questioned, unable to remember anything else going on at the time of the conversation.

Penelope realized her mistake as soon as she had said she was distracted, but it was too late to go back now as she opted for dodging the question, “That’s a secret for me, and me alone dear Jojo.”

“Fine, if you want to be that way, I guess I won’t help you with the problem you’re stuck on,” Josie shot back, a challenging look in her eyes as she hoped Penelope would elaborate as to what she had been distracted by.

“Then it sounds like my imminent failure in chemistry can be blamed on you,” Penelope said right back, a smile forming on her face; she had forgotten how nice it was to have this sort of banter with Josie.

As if reading Penelope’s mind, the next thing Josie said was, “I missed this.” Then, as if her brain caught up with what she had said, she hastily added, “Hanging out and studying together I mean, I always seemed to do better after we studied together.”

Almost like it was on cue, Penelope broke out into a fit of coughing at Josie’s words. The burning in the back of her throat was unbearable and she could feel the flower petals trying to find their way out. In an attempt to prevent Josie from seeing anything, Penelope turned away as she coughed the petal out, careful not to drop any as she croaked out, “Guess helping my dumb ass was beneficial for you then?” She tried to ignore the concerned look on Josie’s face by flashing one of her signature smiles, but she knew it was in vain. It definitely didn’t help that she could feel the metallic taste of blood as her smile faltered.

“You’ve been sick for a while, are you okay?” Josie asked in a concerned voice as she studied Penelope’s face for an answer.

“I’ve never been better, it’s just allergies,” Penelope explained, hoping her lie was believable as she went on, “I’m sure they’ll clear up soon.” She watched as Josie processed what she had said, and for a brief moment she was certain Josie was going to push the matter further, but Josie just nodded to what she had said.

“Have you taken anything to see if they make them less severe?” Josie asked, after deciding to believe what Penelope had told her.

“Yeah, but nothing has helped so far,” Penelope started out before wistfully adding, “Today is the best they’ve been in a while.” Then, as if realizing she was dangerously close to saying something she would regret, she changed the topic by asking, “So are Hope and your sister dating yet?”

Josie was taken aback by the question, as it was a complete shift from their previous conversation, but rather than comment on that, she answered Penelope’s question, “Actually, as it stands right now, they’re not, but I do know that they’re essentially on a date right now, but Hope’s going to ask to make it official tonight.” Deciding to do what Penelope just did, Josie added her own question that took the conversation in a different direction, “So Izzie gave me a letter you wrote today, care to tell me what’s in it? I know I can’t read it until your birthday, but that doesn’t mean you can’t hint to me what’s in it.”

Glancing away from Josie, Penelope tried to think of what she could say in response to Josie, because she knew her attempts would be futile to change the topic again; Josie would just bring the letter up until Penelope said something of importance. Focusing her gaze back on Josie, Penelope opted to say the most she could without revealing what was happening, “It’s a letter filled with things that I think you need to know, and the timing will be right that you can read it on my birthday. You waiting to read it then will be the greatest birthday gift of all Josie.”

“I guess I can wait that long,” Josie conceded, knowing Penelope wasn’t going to reveal anything else. Looking down at her notebook, she asked, “How about we get back to chemistry?”

“Sounds like a perfect plan to me,” Penelope replied, her voice hinted with a trace of sadness at the fact that she wouldn’t get many more experiences like this one.

\--------------------------

“So when do you think you’ll be able to return to track practice?” Casey asked Izzie as they walked back to the car with slushies in hand.

Izzie bit her bottom lip at the question, knowing that answer was entirely dependent on Casey. Gathering her thoughts together, she said, “I’m not sure, but hopefully soon. We should just be glad it isn’t the official season yet, just ‘optional’ practices to prepare for the season.”

“Which you’re now not going to be prepared for, or it’s going to be incredibly hard to be. This is the time Crowley really cracks down on our endurance and pushes conditioning,” Casey replied, ignoring the real reason it bugged her so much that Izzie was missing practice.

“Well I doubt it’ll matter in a few months. There are just some things more important than track,” Izzie admitted, knowing thinking about the future was probably futile no matter how much Josie and Penelope told her that Casey liked her; she just couldn’t find it in her to believe them, because it was just so absurd for it to be true.

Izzie’s wods caused Casey to stop in her tracks, as she turned to ask Izzei, “What about UCLA and California? I thought you had this whole plan figured out for us, what happened to that? That’s what we’ve been training for, so why are you suddenly giving up?”

Izzie wasn’t sure why this set her off so badly, but it did, seeing as her next words were filled with anger, “It’s not that I’m giving up Casey, it’s just that when certain things are put in perspective, UCLA doesn’t seem like a thing that’s actually going to happen! Sure, I had this whole thing planned out for the two of us, but who’s to say something won’t happen to us before then?!” 

“What’s that even supposed to mean?” Casey asked, suddenly confused by Izzie’s argument, although this didn’t stop her from also getting angry and firing back, “You’re the one that said they’ve accepted multiple students form Clayton before!” She definitely was aware of just how angry Izzie was, because the shorter girl rarely called her Casey, and maybe the lack of the nickname was what had made Casey the most angry in this whole situation; something as irrational as a nickname.

“It means Casey, that sometimes there are some things in life that are entirely out of our control and I’m just saying that we should be prepared for them, rather than get our hopes up for nothing,” Izzie retorted, adding, “And just because they’ve accepted multiple students from Clayton before, doesn’t mean they will again.”

Casey just scoffed at Izzie’s words, starting to walk back the car again, not knowing what else to do, because this Slushie Night was entirely different from the last time they had gone to get slushies. That night had been confusing for Casey, and since then she had worked so hard at repressing whatever emotions she had felt that night, especially since her break-up with Evan; she just didn’t want to deal with the implications of what had happened that night. When she reached the car, she turned to see if Izzie had continued towards the car, but instead she saw Izzie standing exactly where she had been.

“Getting slushies was a mistake,” Izzie called out to Casey, taking a semi-deep breath as she went on, “I just thought we could do something fun together, but I was wrong. And maybe I was deluded in thinking that getting slushies would somehow recreate events similar to the last time we got them, but I was still hopeful. Instead, it just led to fighting. Fighting that wasn’t even necessary, and yeah, I started it, but it’s not my fault my priorities are a little all over the place right now. There are so many things happening that you have no clue about Casey, and I can’t even tell you, so I’m sorry. I’m sorry that I’m not worried about the future when I’m deathly afraid of what could happen tomorrow.” Her voice cracked as she said the last sentence, and Izzie knew she should stop there, so, setting her slushie on the nearest car, she turned to Casey and said, “Maybe I’ll see you around Casey,” and with that, she walked away, slowly working herself up to a run as she got further away. 

She didn’t make it very far before her lungs protested at the exertion, causing her to throw up flower petals along the side of the road. Pulling out her phone, she saw she had several texts from Casey that she didn’t bother to read as she, instead, created a text group with Penelope and Josie and sent a text.

**Izzie:** Hey, I know you two are hanging out right now, could you guys come pick me up by chance?

As she waited for a response, she sat down on the curb, and looked around, hoping Casey wouldn’t be looking for her. It was only a few moments later when her phone went off multiple times.

**Josie:** I thought you were hanging out with Casey, what happened?!

**Penelope:** Where are you at? We’ll be there ASAP

Knowing it would be easier to just head back to the 7-Eleven, she stood up and started walking back towards it as she sent back her reply.

**Izzie:** I’m at the 7-Eleven in Waterford. Or at least I’m heading back there so you guys can pick me up there. Casey and I got into a fight and I ran off, but running isn’t a strong suit of mine currently.

She didn’t get far before her phone went off again with a text from Josie.

**Josie:** We’re on our way. We’ll see you in 20 minutes.

\--------------------------

“Casey is so dead when I see her next,” Penelope declared as she tightened her grip on the steering wheel.

“Hey, let’s actually get Izzie and talk to her before we proclaim death on a classmate,” Josie scolded as she looked at the directions on her phone to see how far they were, going on to say, “We’re almost there, it’s just around that bend.”

Penelope didn’t say anything in response, rather, she just focused her attention on driving as she turned into the 7-Eleven parking lot.

“There she is,” Josie said to Penelope when she spotted Izzie, pointing towards where Izzie was standing.” Chancing a glance at Penelope, Josie saw a rather pained expression on Penelope's face, causing her to ask, “Are you all good?”

Unable to say anything thanks to the burning in her throat, Penelope just shook her head as she put the car in park and hurriedly climbed out where she could cough without any issues since Josie was in the car.

“We’re a real duo aren’t we?” Izzie asked as she approached the car.

“That’s one way to describe it,” Penelope managed to get out as she threw up one final petal onto the pavement before climbing back into the car; Izzie following suit by getting in the back seat.

“So, are you both okay?” Josie asked both girls once they were situated in the car.

Penelope answered first by simply replying, “I’m fine. Izzie is the one you should be worried about dork.” 

A brief silence settled in the car as Penelope was internally kicking herself for calling Josie a dork, Izzie was just stunned at how dumb and obvious Penelope was, and Josie was looking away as a slight blush had started to form on her face.

However, Izzie broke the silence when she answered Josie with, “I’m fine, it’s just that I got mad at Casey for no reason and kind of blew up on her, then stormed off. If anything, it’s my fault; I just got so angry for no reason, and then I ran.” 

“So what I’m hearing is, I don’t have to have a word with Casey for causing this?” Penelope asked, opting to just gloss over the slip up she had with what she called Josie.

“No?” Izzie replied, half-questioningly, unsure as to why Penelope was even asking that, but it seemed Josie did based on what she said.

“I told you! You can’t speak into existence harm on a classmate without knowing the full story,” Josie said to Penelope, before turning so she could face Izzie as she reassuringly said to Izzie, “Look, I know you might not believe it right now, but there’s still time for things with Casey to work out.”

Izzie just weakly smiled at Josie, “Thanks for your optimism, but I’m pretty sure I ruined any chance of that tonight.”

No one said anything after that even though they all had a lot on their minds that they wanted to say. There was just no way for them to voice what they were thinking, because the whole situation was horrible, and Izzie was giving up hope for her disease to be cured.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, it's not a Hanahaki fic if there isn't angst, and here was some nice ole Cazzie angst. Speaking of, I miss Cazzie so much and they need to renew Atypical already. Anyways, I have great plans for the next chapter already, which includes a time jump a few weeks, but I will still be chronicling random tidbits and stuff in it, and then moving on from there. Hope and Lizzie will be making an appearance next chapter as well! I'll see all of you guys next time! If you want to deal with me more frequently, you can follow me on Twitter @posieclown


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, I'm back with another installment of this fic, I hope you guys enjoy!

And so the next few weeks went by with Izzie and Penelope progressively getting sicker and sicker. It was getting to the point where neither one could leave the house for fear of just constantly spewing petals from their mouths. Izzie was finding it harder and harder to take care of her siblings and she hated seeing her grandma trying to do it all, but it hurt so bad to breathe and move that she couldn’t even try to help. It didn’t help matters that she hadn’t really spoken to Casey since they went for slushies; they only talked briefly in class, at least whenever Izzie managed to make it to school. Penelope was no better, in fact, she was worse off than Izzie. At least she still had Josie to talk to, and they hung out any time Penelope felt like she wouldn’t cough up a bouquet of flowers at Josie’s feet. A part of her had no idea how Josie hadn’t sensed something was wrong, but then again, Penelope knew Josie had a tendency to ignore things she didn’t want to think about.

This all changed the day that Josie burst into Penelope's room, exclaiming, “You were just going to let yourself die?! And you thought a letter explaining why would suffice?!”

\--------------------------

_ Izzie was surprised when Josie showed up at her house, but here the girl was in her room. _

_ “Iz, you really need to talk to Casey. You’re literally dying and you’re not even trying to see if you can stop it from happening.” _

_ Izzie just held up a hand telling Josie to stop as she said, “I know, okay? She’s tried to text me, but I haven’t answered. We’ve talked a little in school when I actually attend, but it’s always about school stuff.” _

_ Josie sighed, sitting beside Izzie on the bed as she said, “You have to answer her. Quit being stupid and have a conversation with her.” Josie trailed off for a second before continuing with, “She asked me about you, you know? She’s worried about you, but I didn’t tell her anything, it’s not my place.” _

_ “And I appreciate that, and I’ll talk to her okay? The next day I feel good enough to go somewhere, I’ll go to her house,” Izzie said, genuinely meaning it, because she really didn’t want to die. Dying would mean leaving her siblings behind with her mom, because she knew her grandma wouldn’t live forever. _

\--------------------------

_ Penelope was laying on her bed when she heard the doorbell ring. Hoping it was no one, she ignored it, but the bell sounded again a few minutes later. Groaning, Penelope crawled out of bed and slowly walked downstairs, the act of walking taking all of her energy. She was glad her mom was out of town currently on business, or else Penelope had no idea what she would do. _

_ When she finally made it to the door, she opened it to see Josie standing there, causing a momentary panic, because she knew she looked like shit and probably smelled like a flower shop with how much she had been coughing. _

_ “Hey Penelope, you haven’t been in school for a few days and I was wondering if you wanted some of the work you’ve missed?” Josie questioned when Penelope opened the door, keeping her gaze on the ground, because for some reason she felt nervous about talking to Penelope for some reason. _

_ “Yeah,” Penelope croaked out, then clearing her throat, which she noted hurt like a bitch, she continued talking, “I would appreciate it. I’ve just been recovering from the flu. I figured I shouldn’t infect anyone at school.” She noticed how Josie wasn’t looking at her, and for a brief moment she thought about how Josie acted around her before they had dated; to sum it up, a nervous mess every time. _

_ “That makes sense,” Josie said, finally looking up at Penelope and inhaled sharply when she saw just how pale Penelope looked. Her voice was filled with concern as she asked, “Are you okay?” _

_ “I would say I’m perfectly healthy, but that’s a lie. I’m getting better though, don’t worry,” Penelope answered, offering Josie a smile that she hoped the girl would buy, then started speaking again, “You probably shouldn’t stay though. This house is a cesspool of germs right now, because I haven’t had a chance to clean. We can’t have you getting sick. What would the school do without you there?” _

_ Josie laughed at Penelope’s final statement while also being appreciative of the fact that Penelope didn’t want her to get sick as she held out the homework she had and said, “I guess you’re right, so here’s the work. If you have any questions, just text me, I’ll be happy to help.” _

_ “Consider it a deal,” Penelope replied as she grabbed the stuff Josie handed her, saying, “See you around Jojo.” _

\--------------------------

_ It was a few days later that Josie returned, this time with her own personal agenda that Izzie soon found out. This time, they were sitting in Izzie’s backyard as Izzie felt good enough that she could manage to move outside. _

_ “Is Penelope okay?” Josie asked as soon as they were situated in the backyard. _

_ Izzie bit her lip, refusing to look at Josie as she replied, “She’s fine. She’s just helping me out, that’s why she’s not in school.” Feeling a bout of coughing coming on, Izzie turned to the side and started coughing, tasting the mixture of flower petals and blood. She was used to it at this point, but it still hurt knowing that she was getting closer to death and it was entirely her fault. She was waiting for a response from Josie, but one never came, and the two sat in silence for a few minutes. _

\--------------------------

_ It was a few days after she had asked Izzie about Penelope that Josie found out just how badly Izzie had lied to her. Josie had gone for an evening run since it was the weekend, and had of course gotten distracted at the local dog park when she had run by it, so her run took longer than expected. It was about an hour and a half later that she returned home, and when she went up to her and Lizzie’s room, she saw Lizzie holding a piece of paper, with an envelope beside her on the bed, and an unreadable expression on her face. Josie knew there was only one thing that Lizzie could be holding, and that was the letter from Penelope. The letter that she still had a week to go before she could read it. She had no idea why she was still going along with waiting to read it, but it had seemed so important to Penelope that she did, so Josie respected those wishes. Even if it was eating her alive to know what was in the letter. She had enjoyed getting close to Penelope again; it was nice to have her best friend back, even if Lizzie gave her shit for it saying that Josie was dooming herself to get her heart broken all over again. _

_ So, it was no surprise that Josie was angry when she saw Lizzie with the letter, and her anger showed as she asked, “Why do you have the letter Penelope wrote me? And why did you read it?” _

_ Lizzie finally looked up at Josie when she said that, and Josie could see that for once in her life, Lizzie was at a loss for words. She watched as Lizzie opened her mouth and then closed it, causing Josie to wonder just what it was in the letter Penelope had written. _

_ Josie tried a softer approach this time as she asked, “What is it Lizzie?” As she spoke she moved closer to Lizzie, and sat down beside her. _

_ Lizzie was finally able to find her words as she spoke, “I was looking for that one skirt of yours that I like in your dresser when I found this. I know reading it was wrong—I know that part was wrong—but I’m glad I did.” Lizzie faltered before ultimately holding the letter out to Josie and saying, “I think you should read it.” _

_ Frowning at Lizzie’s words and how she wasn’t bashing Penelope, Josie cautiously took the letter from her sister, and started to read the letter with Lizzie watching her.  _

_ Josie wasn’t sure what she was expecting in the letter but it definitely wasn’t Penelope’s proclamation of how she was dying, and it was because she had never stopped loving her. Josie had spent months repressing her feelings for Penelope, and here, this whole time, Penelope had been dying because of it. Realizing this angered her so badly because Penelope wasn’t going to tell her until it was too late, but she was also painfully aware that Penelope was doing it so Josie would have good final memories with her. Reading how much Penelope was suffering in silence broke her, so she started formulating a plan. One that required making a pit stop at Izzie’s house before she went to Penelope’s in order to chastise Izzie for not telling her about this, and to also make sure Izzie made it to Casey’s house today.  _

_ She eventually finished the letter, and as she did so, she realized she had been crying. She also realized that Lizzie had started hugging her at some point, but she had been so involved with the letter that she had noticed none of this. Discarding the letter so that it was beside her on the bed, she said, “I can’t believe how stupid I am.” _

_ “What?” Lizzie asked, surprised that that was the first thing her sister had said. _

_ “I had noticed something wasn’t right with her Lizzie, but I ignored it. I ignored it because I didn’t want to see what was in front of my eyes. This whole time I knew that something was up that was eerily similar to Izzie, but I brushed it aside. I told myself it was nothing, that Penelope was perfectly fine,” Josie answered, a few more tears falling from her eyes, and as she wiped them away she said, “I need your help to fix everything.” _

_ “What can I do to help?” Lizzie asked, looking at the ground as she added, “I’m sorry I always make it so you don’t come first. You deserve to have your own life and to let yourself be you like how you were with Penelope.” _

_ Josie waited a second until Lizzie looked up at her so she could offer her sister a smile as she replied, “I’ll accept your apology so long as you take me to Izzie’s house where we’ll pick her up, then take me to Penelope’s house before you ultimately take her to Casey’s house.” _

_ “Consider it done,” Lizzie said, standing up to go get her keys and wallet. _

_ “Thank you so much Lizzie,” Josie said as she stood up, grabbing the letter as she did so and putting it in her pocket. Once she did that, she walked out of their room with Lizzie close behind her. _

_ “So do you love her back?” Lizzie asked, clearly curious about how everything was going to play out. _

_ Josie stopped in her tracks on the stairs as she turned back to Lizzie and said, “That’s private information currently.” Turning back around, Josie continued walking, heading out to the car. _

\--------------------------

_ Letting herself into Izzie’s house since Izzie had given her a key a week or so ago, Josie walked back to Izzie’s room that she shared with her sister. “Look, Izzie, I know you feel like shit, but that is no excuse today. Today, everything is going to get better for everyone.” _

_ Izzie sat up in her bed, confusion written across her face, “What do you mean?” _

_ “I know about Penelope, and if I’m going to go make things right with her, then you need to make things right with Casey,” Josie replied as she walked over to Izzie’s bed, ready to help the girl get out of bed. _

_ Izzie was silent for a moment, knowing Josie only could’ve found out from the letter, and she was about to ask when Josie spoke again as if reading her mind. _

_ “Lizzie found and read the letter while I was out on a run. I wouldn’t have read it until next week, but I’m glad I ended up reading it today.” _

_ “I see,” Izzie sighed, knowing there was no way Josie was going to budge on making her talk to Casey today, so she gave in, “I take it we’re leaving now?” _

\--------------------------

Izzie had texted Elsa to see where Casey was while they were on their way to drop Josie off at Penelope’s, and had gotten a text back that Casey was at the track doing a workout Coach Crowley had asked her to do. Izzie sent back her thanks to Elsa as Josie got out of the car at Penelope’s house.

Now it was just here and Lizzie in the car, and Izzie really didn’t know what to say, because she had never really spoken to Lizzie before. Fortunately, it seemed as if Lizzie wasn’t unsure of what to say.

“So where are we headed?”

“The school. Casey’s mom said she was at the track,” Izzie replied, closing her eyes as she thought about what she was going to say to Casey when she saw her.

Lizzie replied with “Okay,” before continuing on to ask another question, “How bad does it hurt?”

The question caught Izzie off guard because neither Penelope nor Josie had asked her about her pain, but she wasn’t mad at the question, instead truthfully answering with, “Did you ever as a kid try to see how long you could hold your breath?” Once Lizzie nodded, Izzie continued talking, “Well it feels kind of like when you’ve almost held your breath as long as you could, but you keep going to see how much longer you can make it. It burns, but you just think you can hold out a few seconds longer if you really try to, until, ultimately it’s too much. It’s almost too much for me, so it’s a good thing your sister dragged me out of the house today.”

Izzie could see that Lizzie was processing her answer, so the car ride was quiet the rest of the way to the school.

When they finally got to the school, Lizzie turned to Izzie and asked, “Do you need help making it to the track?”

“I should be fine, thank you though,” Izzie replied, looking out towards the track where she could see someone running, “I got this.”

“Alright then. I’ll be here when you’re done,” Lizzie said and Izzie nodded in response as she got out of the car and started walking towards the field.

\--------------------------

Penelope had been asleep when she heard someone slam the door downstairs, and she realized she must have forgotten to lock it after the last time she had opened it. She knew she should’ve cared that someone was in her house, but she was just so tired and her lungs hurt so bad. She was suffocating and there was nothing she could do to stop it. Then her bedroom door was flying open and there was Josie yelling about the letter. The letter that she hadn’t wanted Josie to read for another week, so when Josie was done yelling, Penelope asked, “You read the letter?”

“You can blame my sister for that one,” Josie replied as she moved towards the bed, seeing flower petals all around Penelope that she quickly realized were her favorite flower.

\--------------------------

Izzie had finally managed to make it to the track after about ten minutes, because she had had to stop and expel flowers from her lungs a few times. But now she was stepping out onto the track, and waited until Casey spotted her, which didn’t take long. 

Soon, Casey was slowing her run as she approached Izzie, and asked, “How did you know I was here?”

“Elsa told me,” Izzie admitted, while studying the expression on Casey’s face in an attempt to gauge what the taller girl was feeling.

“Figures,” Casey replied, adding, “She’s been wondering where you’ve been the past few weeks.”

“I knew she would be, and I need to explain,” Izzie started as she tried to gather her thoughts on what she had planned to say, ultimately starting to say, “I shouldn’t have avoided you the past few weeks, or at the very least, I should’ve answered your texts. I regret it, I really do, because I’ve spent the past few weeks kicking myself for it, but I was too stubborn to do anything about it. But I’m here to change that.” Izzie could feel her lungs start to burn and she knew another wave of flowers was about to make their way to the surface. It didn’t help that she could feel her legs ready to give out seeing as this was the most she had walked in a long time, and she knew Casey could see this.

“Hey, are you okay Iz?” Casey asked as she looked at Izzie.

Knowing she didn’t have a lot of time before she either collapsed or the flowers in her lungs escaped, Izzie quickly proclaimed, “Newton, I’ve been avoiding you because I’m in love with you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was a revealing one, and I hope you guys liked it! With all of this revealing, though, comes sad news. This fic is almost over and I plan on finishing it within 1 more chapter or 2. I'm not sure yet. And for those of you who read my other works, I'll be updating those ones once I finally finish this story, because I am so motivated to finish this one, because I know exactly how I want everything to go. As always, you can find me on twitter @legayseas (yes i changed my @ cause i'm cool or something). Until next time everyone!


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am back with a quick update for the chapter I'm sure you've all been waiting for. Enjoy!

“So are you here to break my heart then?”

Penelope’s words hung in the air for a few moments as the two just stared at each other. 

Penelope waited for the girl in front of her to do something as she tried to sit up in her bed.

Josie watched as the girl in front of—who always seemed so certain and unafraid of everything—looked terrified of the response Josie was going to give.

If she was being honest, Josie had no idea what she was going to say, then Penelope spoke again.

“If that is what you’re here to do, please just get it over with.”

Even though Penelope was practically knocking on death’s door, there was still a hint of a challenge in her voice which happened to momentarily set Josie off.

“You’re unbelievable Penelope, you really are. You would have rather died than tell me about what was happening so that I could be there for you. Instead,” Josie inhaled before continuing her speech, “Instead you played it off as wanting to become friends again. That you hated how things had ended between us when they very well aren’t over for you. You let me think that you were going to be a permanent fixture in my life with that idea of friendship, when it was just a way to make my last memories of you happy. And yeah, I was so incredibly stupid for not realizing you were sick, that something was going on with you, but I had tried so hard to not care about you after you broke my heart.”

Penelope could feel the pain tightening in her chest at every word Josie was saying, but she didn’t stop her, because she knew Josie needed to get it out, so she sat there and continued being hit by Josie’s words.

“I tried so hard not to care about you, but a part of me knew something was wrong, so I asked Izzie. She played it off and said you were just looking after her. I should’ve known she was lying, but instead I believed her. I chose to believe here when every fiber of my being told me something was off. I buried that concern though, told myself I was just crazy. And I wish I could be mad at you for all of this, but I’m not. This whole time you were trying to do what you thought would be best for me because you knew I didn’t love you back anymore. And yeah, maybe that was true because I finally managed to convince myself that I didn’t.”

Josie paused, realizing she had majorly diverted from her plan, but she had an idea of how to get back on track, so she continued ranting.

“I convinced myself that I had finally gotten over the person I thought was my soulmate. I was so proud of that, because it finally didn’t hurt to think about you. And Lizzie warned me that becoming your friend was only going to hurt me in the long run, and she would’ve been right had she not read that letter today. I would’ve been so incredibly devastated because I would’ve been hit by all of the emotions I’ve been trying so hard to repress. And it would’ve been because this whole time we’ve been doing stuff as friends, I’ve been falling for you all over again. I knew my feelings were there, but I buried them because I didn’t want to get hurt again, and in a cruel twist of fate I was going to be hurt because of that . . . because I just can’t seem to stop loving you Penelope. No matter how hard I try, the fact is, I will always love you.”

And giving in to what she had suppressed wanting to do for so long, Josie moved so that she was sitting on the bed so she could lean in and kiss Penelope. It was a simple soft and tender kiss that Josie knew caught Penelope by surprise based on the sharp intake of breath on Penelope’s end.

Josie’s speech was far from what Penelope had been expecting to happen. She knew Josie was never one for dramatic monologues, but Josie had delivered an incredibly heartfelt speech to Penelope and now Josie was kissing her. That is what took her by surprise, the fact that Josie capped it off with a kiss, and Penelope of course inhaled at the surprise and she was once again surprised. So surprised that she pulled away from Josie and when Josie looked at her with a confused and slightly hurt expression on her face, Penelope explained herself, “It didn’t hurt. I can actually breathe.” Penelope let out an airy chuckle as she continued, “I mean, I’m still in pain, but it doesn’t feel like I’m suffocating anymore. My chest feels lighter.”

Penelope watched as Josie processed this and a smile broke out over the brunette’s face as she said, “Guess that means for certain that I’m the one you were crazily in love with.”

“So it would seem Jojo,” Penelope smiled as she said her next words, “I’ll always love you too.”

\--------------------------

“I have been in love with you for so fucking long that somewhere along the lines it started to kill me,” Izzie explained as she tried to hold back the flowers that were threatening to make their way out. Squeezing her eyes shut for a moment, she waited for Casey’s response and when she didn’t get one, she opened her eyes to see Casey just staring at her.

Sensing this as a bad sign, Izzie began to nervously continue, fighting the urge to cough the whole time, “I don’t know when it started, but at some point I developed a crush on you, but you were with Evan, and I respected that. Sure my attitude towards him was never good, but I never tried to break you two up. And then the first Slushie Night happened and maybe I got my hopes up that maybe I stood a chance even if you were still with Evan. But then you two broke up and it was honestly the best day of my life, but it was so quickly followed by the worst day of my life because then the flowers started. And to make it an even bigger middle finger to me, it was your favorite flower.”

Izzie could feel tears burning at the back of her eyes and her chest was on fire, but she continued, “I never thought I stood a chance of surviving this, but Penelope and Josie were so certain I would. They were so certain you liked me back, but they are so wrong. Maybe if I had been more upfront about this when we went to go get slushies a few weeks ago we could’ve at least made some good final memories, because I would never ask you to force yourself to love me just to ensure my survival. I’ve made peace with what’s going to happen, and I’m here to tell you that. You’re the best friend I ever cou—”

And then in a twist of events Izzie hadn’t seen coming, Casey was kissing her. She found herself kissing Casey back though, the pain in her chest forgotten at the fact that the girl she was helplessly in love with was kissing her. This was what Izzie had dreamed of doing for so long and it was finally happening. 

She doesn't know how long they kissed for but then Casey pulled away, clearly breathless as she breathed out, “Woah.”

Izzie nodded in agreement as she also breathlessly said, “Woah is right.”

Casey’s expression shifted then to concern as she asked, “You didn’t think I loved you?”

“Well Newton, I was coughing up flower petals that proved otherwise,” Izzie deadpanned in reply.

At that, Casey opened her mouth and closed it knowing Izzie had a point before she eventually replied, “That’s true, but if I hadn’t liked you back, you would’ve been coughing up flowers from the minute you first liked me. Instead, it sounds like it started when Evan and I broke up. I wasn’t feeling much of anything then, nerd. After that first Slushie Night, I realized that things weren’t right with Evan, but he picked up on it first and broke up with me over it. And I closed myself off because it hurt to lose him because I did love him, and in the midst of it, I buried my feelings for you. Had I known what was going on, I wouldn’t have been such a dumbass.”

“When you put it like that, it makes sense,” Izzie sighed, then noticed that the pain in her chest had subsided. She had been too wrapped up in everything else that was happening that she didn’t realize how much easier it was to breathe. Sure, her throat was still on fire from the practically non stop stream of flowers, but she could breathe. A smile broke out over her face as she took a deep breath, able to actually fill her lungs with air for the first time in weeks.

“What’s got you smiling like that? I mean I know my words were moving, but they weren’t that moving,” Casey asked, adding on one of her own smart comments.

Exhaling, Izzie focused her attention on Casey as she answered with, “I can breathe Newton. I don’t feel like I’m drowning anymore. It’s like I’ve finally come up for air.” Her smile turning into a smirk, Izzie kept talking as she said, “Guess your decision to quit being a dumbass worked.”

Casey chuckled at that, replying, “So it would seem, which means I guess I can’t dodge my feelings for you anymore.”

“No, no you can’t. I really don’t want to deal with flower petals again,” Izzie affirmed, knowing it would be a long time before she could look at flowers the same way again.

As if Casey read her mind, she asked Izzie, “So if I were to hypothetically ask you out on a date, I shouldn’t bring you flowers as a gift?”

“If you were to bring me flowers as a gift, I would quite literally scream and refuse to talk to you,” Izzie trailed off as she finished her sentence, murmuring the last bit, “. . . at least for a few hours up til a day.”

“Then I guess I better prepare a flower free date,” Casey said, smiling at Izzie.

“Who said I wanted to go on a date with you?” Izzie asked, messing with Casey to see what the taller girl would say.

“I wouldn’t say who, I think what would be a better word choice considering what all has happened to get us to this point,” Casey fired back, glad to have Izzie back in her life, even if their relationship to one another wasn’t clearly defined at the moment.

Izzie rolled her eyes in response as she said, “Your point is valid, and you’re right. Maybe I want to go on a date with you.”

“I knew it! I’m never wrong,” Casey exclaimed, looking behind Izzie as she saw someone approaching.

“Look, I don’t mean to intrude, but I just wanted to make sure Izzie wasn’t dying. Josie wouldn’t be happy if I let that happen,” Lizzie announced once she noticed Casey saw her.

Izzie turned to face Lizzie so she could reply, “I’m far from dead. Everything is perfect. How are things with Josie?”

“First off, that’s awesome that you two finally are aware of each other’s feelings,” Lizzie started as she continued, “Secondly, I’ve only been sent a thumbs up emoji from Josie, so I would say she has either successfully murdered Penelope or they’re currently making out, which I would rather not think about.”

“Wait, was Penelope sick too?” Casey asked, putting the pieces together.

“Yeah she was,” Izzie answered, going on to reveal, “She got sick a little bit before me and she really didn’t have much time left. But at least it sounds like Josie remedied the situation in one way or another.”

Lizzie just made a face as she tried not to think about what her sister and Penelope could be up to as she said, “Look, I know I said I would wait for you and be your ride home, but with everyone finally getting their acts together, I want to get mine together and go ask Hope to be my girlfriend. We have been dancing around the topic for a while now, but after seeing what repressing feelings can do, I don’t want her or I to go through this. I was hoping maybe Casey could take you home.”

“Of course, it would be my honor,” Casey piped up, adding, “You go get your girl Lizzie.”

Izzie echoed Casey’s words as she said, “Go ask her out, I’ll be fine.”

“You two are the best!” Lizzie happily proclaimed as she waved goodbye and headed back toward her car, leaving Casey and Izzie alone on the track once more. 

Once Lizzie was gone, Izzie turned back to Casey and asked, “So what now?”

“I can think of one thing,” Casey answered, raising an eyebrow.

“And what’s that?” Izze questioned. 

“This.”

And with that, Casey moved closer towards Izzie and leaned down so she could kiss her again, placing one arm around Izzie with her hand resting on Izzie’s back as her other hand found itself on the back of Izzie’s neck. 

Izzie smiled into the kiss at how Casey had softly started kissing her, and Izzie returned the softness, not wanting to do anything neither one was ready for. Because as it was, kissing Casey underneath the lights on the track exactly as they were was all she needed in her life. If it was possible, she would’ve taken a picture of this moment so could remember it forever, but she had a feeling she would never forget this moment. Being on the brink of death and having your soulmate (at least that’s what she chose to think) bring you back from the brink was an unforgettable experience.

As they pulled apart, they rested their foreheads against one another, Izzie gathering her breath to start saying, “Let’s make a forehead promise to always communicate even if it’s something hard to talk about.”

“I think I can do that,” Casey contently replied, kissing Izzie one final time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really don't know what to say here. This isn't the final chapter though. I plan on doing an epilogue, although I have no idea how long that will be. I just want to give it a more finalized ending so that I feel like everything is truly resolved. That and I don't like odd numbers so this can't end on chapter 7. So I'll save the sappy paragraph for next update. Take care everyone!


	8. Chapter 8 / Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey friends, I'm here with the final chapter of this story. I hope you enjoy this chapter of pure fluff!

“Here’s to hoping the new year doesn’t bring us to the brink of death again,” Penelope toasted, directing it towards Izzie before looking at everyone else at the table and declaring, “And here’s to a year of love for all of us.”

Izzie smiled as she happily said, “I don’t think we have to worry about that Penelope.” Her gaze shifted to look at Casey who was already looking at Izzie.

“Okay Park, we get it. You’re so in love with my sister that you almost died from it.”

“Lizzie! She wished us all love, and that includes you and Hope,” Josie scolded.

“Your sister is right, babe,” Hope said, squeezing Lizzie’s hand, “And she invited us here out of the niceness of her heart, so you need to be nice back.”

“Your girlfriend has a point Lizzie,” Casey spoke up, “She could’ve just had Josie over, but she invited us all over.”

“Yeah, I could’ve just had made a nice dinner for Josie and I, but I made it for all of us,” Penelope stated, thinking over her next words as she eventually said, “We were all affected by what happened, and it all brought us to be with the people we love. I thought it would only be right for us to all be together to ring in the new year.”

“I guess you have a point,” Lizzie conceded after a moment of silence.

“She does, and I think we should eat,” Izzie stated, extremely hungry since Penelope had said to come hungry.

Setting her glass back on the table, Penelope smiled as she said, “I see someone listened to my request so that all the food wouldn’t go to waste.” Softening her expression, she turned towards Josie and asked, “Can you come with me and get the food to bring out?”

“Of course,” Josie happily replied, grabbing Penelope’s hand as she stood up so they could walk to the kitchen hand-in-hand.

\--------------------------

As Penelope was clearing away plates after they were all done eating, she turned around to see Lizzie standing behind her in the kitchen.

“Hey Lizzie. What’s up?”

Turning to look back towards where everyone was, Lizzie looked back at Penelope and said, “I wanted to apologize to you.”

Penelope was caught off guard by Lizzie’s statement, so she cautiously asked, “For what?”

“For making you feel like you had to break up with Josie just so she could possibly think about herself first. I didn’t think about how much I was actually hurting her when she devoted her attention to helping me,” Izzie offered her hand for a handshake as a peace offering, and when Penelope grabbed her hand, Lizzie added, “Just don’t break her heart again. I don’t think she can pick up the pieces again.”

“I don’t plan on breaking it ever again,” Penelope genuinely replied as she shook Lizzie’s hand.

Hesitating for a second, Penelope also said, “I’m sorry too. For being a dick to you after I broke up with Josie. I still expect us to have bitchy banter though like tonight, because it’s our trademark.”

“I think that can be arranged,” Lizzie smiled as she released Penelope’s hand as the sound of someone coming into the kitchen could be heard.

“Is this like some great meeting of the minds in here?” Izzie asked as she looked at Penelope and then Lizzie.

“You could say that,” Penelope answered, also adding, “Lizzie was just warning me what would happen if I broke Josie’s heart again.”

Lightly punching Penelope in the arm, Lizzie stated, “She didn’t need to know that.”

“I can’t promise to keep it a secret either,” Izzie smirked as she went on to say what she came to the kitchen to say, “We’re getting ready to play Cards so hurry up doing whatever it is you’re doing.”

“We’ll be there in a second,” Penelope said, calling after Izzie who had already retreated from the kitchen.

\--------------------------

“I can’t believe you seriously picked Josie’s card again!” Casey cried out as Penelope picked Josie’s card as the winner for the round yet again.

“It’s because Josie caters to her girlfriend,” Hope said, also adding, “It’s actually a really strategic move to get points from the Card Czar.”

“That may be true, but this is the fourth straight round Penelope picked her card,” Casey grumbled out.

Leaning her head on Casey’s shoulder, Izzie looked up at her girlfriend as she said, “Don’t worry about it too much. It’s your turn to be the Card Czar anyways.” She laughed as Casey murmured something under her breath before pulling the black card for the round.

Clearing her throat to read the card, Casey read what was written to everyone, “This is the way the world ends. This is the way the world ends. Not with a bang but with blank.”

Silence went over everyone as they looked at their cards in an attempt to find the best match to the card. Penelope leaned over to say something to Josie and showed her two cards before handing one of them to Casey for her answer. Josie was quick to follow with a card of her own. Then Hope handed one to Casey, followed by Izzie, and then Lizzie was the last one to hand one in.

Mixing the cards up in her hand, Casey started reading again, “This is the way the world ends. This is the way the world ends. Not with a bang but with—”

Flipping over the first white card, she read, “A shiny rock that proves I love you.”

This one garnered a few chuckles out of everyone, but they all waited in anticipation for what else was going to be read.

Followed by the second one of, “Being emotionally and physically dominated by Gordon Ramsey.”

Then, “Diversity.”

Everyone paused momentarily to think about how it was possible since some people were hellbent on keeping things far from being diverse.

Then, “Not giving a shit about the Third World.”

And then, finally, “That bitch, Stacy.”

Looking around at everyone, Casey sighed as she said to everyone, “These are all really good, but,” Casey broke off laughing for a second before continuing, “I’m going to have to pick ‘That bitch, Stacy.’”

Multiple people let their disapproval show that Casey hadn’t picked theirs, but Josie happily proclaimed, “That’s me! I won! I have fifteen black cards now.” Reaching out, she grabbed the black card she had just won, and then counted to make sure she was right before confirming, “Yeah, I have fifteen.”

“You can thank Penelope for that one,” Izzie joked, knowing that it was partially true.

“It’s not my fault Josie was the only one to play good cards!” Penelope explained, even though deep down she had known which ones were Josie’s since her and Josie had shown each other their cards throughout the game. She knew Josie wanted to win the game for once since she had never won the previous times they had played, so Penelope had made it her mission to get Josie a win even if sometimes her card wasn’t the best card. Somehow she had even managed to get Lizzie in on it, although Lizzie hadn’t always picked her sister’s card.

“It’s a well earned win Jo,” Lizzie affirmed, shooting a glance at Penelope as she did so.

“Yeah, don’t listen to Izzie and Casey. They’re just sore losers,” Hope commented, even though she sensed that it may not have been a completely fair win.

Casey rolled her eyes as she defended herself by saying, “I am not a sore loser. I’m just pointing out the flaw that existed.”

“No offense Newton, but I think that does fall under the definition of what it means to be a sore loser,” Izzie stated, receiving a glare from her girlfriend.

“Regardless, I think this is cause for a celebration for Josie’s first ever victory,” Penelope cheered, standing up to go retrieve the sparkling cider her mom had gotten for the night.

“You’re just saying that because it’s almost midnight and were going to go get that cider either way,” Izzie stated, getting up as well because she wanted to accompany Penelope to the kitchen.

Frowning, Josie pouted, “Let me think she’s doing it because I won Izzie.”

“Yeah Izzie, what the hell? Don’t rain on Josie’s parade,” Casey joked, earning a glare from Izzie who for once was taller since she was standing.

Hope stood up as well, declaring, “As fun as it is to see all of you arguing, I’m going to the bathroom.”

As Hope walked away, Lizzie called after her, “You better be back before the ball drops! We only have a couple minutes.”

Penelope just rolled her eyes at Lizzie before heading towards the kitchen with Izzie right behind her. Figuring there was a reason Izzie was following her, Penelope didn’t say anything until they reached the kitchen when she observed, “I’m guessing there’s a reason you accompanied me here.”

“There is,” Izzie stated, going on to comment, “It still doesn’t feel real that we both somehow managed to have a happy ending to our stories.” Jumping up onto the counter, Izzie watched as Penelope rummaged around for the sparkling cider.

With her back still to Izzie, Penelope replied, “I know what you mean. A part of me still can’t get over the fact that we were both almost so stubborn that we were about to die. I know I had accepted that I was going to die up until the moment Josie finished her speech and kissed me.” Finally finding the bottle and cups she was looking for, she turned to see a thoughtful expression on Izzie’s face.

“I never made peace with the idea of dying. That would’ve meant leaving my siblings behind and that would mess them up so much,” Izzie remarked, a slightly somber tone to her voice.

“You don’t have to worry about that anymore at least,” Penelope said before clearing her throat and adding, “We’re both dating the girls of our dreams. Let’s celebrate that fact.”

“Penelope Park if you don’t get your ass back up here, your girlfriend is going to be pissed!” Hope’s voice suddenly rang out, signalling the two girls better go rejoin the group.

“You’re right,” Izzie conceded as she hopped off the counter, starting to walk back to where everyone was as she said, “We’ll just always have to live with the fact that we’re dumbasses though.”

Penelope laughed at that as she followed after Izzie, “We are the captains of dumbassery and that’s a fact.”

“But your my captain of dumbassery,” Josie commented as Penelope and Izzie walked back into the room. Reaching out, Josie took the glasses from Penelope and set them down so that Penelope could pour the cider into the glasses.

“Gross,” Lizzie and Casey both declared at the same time, causing the two to send each other a thumbs up.

“You two can hate all you want, but Josie and I remain superior,” Penelope calmly replied as she poured cider into everyone’s glass before lifting hers up and saying, “To my amazing, smart, and beautiful girlfriend on her first victory ever.”

“Whatever you say Penelope,” Izzie remarked as she picked up a glass from the table.

“Aren’t we supposed to drink this at midnight?” Hope questioned, motioning towards the TV that showed there were only two minutes until the new year.

“To be honest Hope, I think we will all be doing something else at midnight that isn’t drinking sparkling cider,” Josie directed towards Hope.

“My sister is right. I don’t want to be drinking this dumb cider at midnight,” Lizzie stated, raising an eyebrow at her girlfried until Hope finally realized what everyone was getting at.

“Okay, I get it. I understand,” Hope said, raising her hands as she defended herself.

“Good thing too, because there’s only fifteen seconds left,” Casey commented.

Everyone turned to look at the TV to see that the ball slowly descending, and they decided to all count down together as it hit ten seconds.

“Ten.”

Penelope and Izzie both set their glasses back on the table as they all started counting down.

“Nine.”

Penelope wrapped an arm around Josie and smiled at her girlfriend.

“Eight.”

Izzie leaned against Casey, resting her head on her shoulder as she took in the fact that she was ringing in the new year with her closest friends and girlfriend.

“Seven.”

Casey rested her head on top of Izzie’s and smiled by the slight laugh that Izzie let out.

“Six.”

Hope reached out and took Lizzie’s hand, her mind thinking about how everything felt right.

“Five.”

Josie leaned further into Penelope’s grasp, deciding in that moment she would never take a moment with Penelope for granted ever again after almost losing her forever.

“Four.”

Izzie glanced around at everyone, thinking about how everyone here was happily in love.

“Three.”

Penelope made eye contact with Izzie sharing the same look of contentment that they had managed to be with the people they loved.

“Two.”

Lizzie shifted closer to Hope, knowing this moment wouldn’t have been possible if it hadn’t been for that night just a few weeks ago.

“One!” 

Everyone’s voice rang out when they all finished counting down, and then they all cheered out “Happy New Year!”

As this was all being said, Penelope turned to look at Josie, Izzie lifted her head and moved in front of Casey, and Lizzie pulled Hope closer to her.

Lizzie looked at Hope, before leaning in and kissing her, starting the new year off right. It was soft and sweet, and it conveyed their feelings for each other.

At the same time, Izzie looked up at Casey as she said, “I love you Newton.” And without giving Casey a chance to say anything, Izzie stood up on her toes and kissed Casey. She kissed Casey like it was the first and last time she was ever going to kiss Casey. After everything, she didn’t want to take kissing Casey for granted, which is why she always tried to put everything she felt into each kiss.

When they separated, Casey gave her usual smirk as she said, “I love you too.”

“Happy New Year Jojo,” Penelope said as she looked up at Josie, offering her girlfriend a small smile.

“Right back at you,” Josie replied as she closed the distance between her and Penelope, kissing Penelope. 

They were no stranger to kissing each other, but every time felt like a brand new experience to both of them. This had especially become true once they had gotten back together because they had both acknowledged how close they were to never having the chance to kiss each other again. They had talked for hours on numerous occasions about what had almost happened, and it brought both of them to the conclusion to cherish each kiss like it was a brand new experience.

All three couples eventually separated and looked around at each other, before Hope broke the silence with, “So can we drink the cider now?”

Everyone broke out into laughter at that, and they all shared a similar thought that could be surmised as the fact that everything was as it was supposed to be. Everything had worked out for them all, and for that, they would be eternally grateful.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that's the end of this tale. This is my first ever full on story that I've finished and I'm proud of this fact. This was one of my favorite ideas I've come up with as a plot, and I just want to take a moment to appreciate all of you who have stuck with me through the writing of this! I know I never respond to comments, but I appreciated all of your kind words with each update. They meant a lot and gave me the motivation to keep writing. You all are amazing for sticking with me through all of my sporadic updating, I know it wasn't easy since I would sometimes go a week before updating and then proceed to go a month without updating. Just want to say once again, thanks for sticking with me and enjoying this tale that I created! I loved the idea of Hanahaki disease fics, and that's what inspired this one, because I had my own ideas for one, and I thought the idea of two people having it at the same time as best friends would be an amazing idea. As always, you guys can find me on Twitter @legayseas if you ever want to see what I'm up to in terms of writing. I hope you all stay hydrated and get a healthy amount of sleep! Stay cool

**Author's Note:**

> I really don't know when the next chapter will be out. If I'm being honest, I probably already have enough to have a second chapter, I just have to figure out where to cut it off at. This means that this will probably get an update before any of my other fics, but then I'll go back to my cycle of updating. As always, you can find me on Twitter @posieclown


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